I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
