Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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