How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize