help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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