so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
