apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
