so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
A bitchslap is in order.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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