Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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