dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
