i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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