yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
