Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
we're so committed to being not committed
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
