do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize