Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
