I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Congratulations! We have a period
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize