yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
