There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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