i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
