Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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