did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
