Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize