How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
