Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
