Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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