So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
