My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
