omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
