no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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