My brain says no but my pants say off.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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