I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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