you traded sex for a burrito?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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