also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
