just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
