Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
