Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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