she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
