So drunk its hurt
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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