I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
