omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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