is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize