Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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