mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
