Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
we're chasing vodka with high fives
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
