were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
