I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
