Ambien. No doubt about it.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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