carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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