Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
