i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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