I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
