Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize