Walk of Shame. In a state park.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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