it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
