i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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