not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
