I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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