he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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