Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
