talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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